How to heal your relationship with food while losing weight?

For many, the journey to lose weight is tangled with a complex and often stressful relationship with food. We're bombarded by diet culture's conflicting messages, from "clean eating" to intermittent fasting, leaving us confused and disconnected from our bodies. This can trap us in a cycle of restrictive dieting, guilt, and frustration, making it seem impossible to shed pounds without sacrificing peace of mind. The good news is that you can heal your relationship with food while achieving your weight loss goals. It's not about finding another restrictive diet; it's about shifting your mindset, embracing self-compassion, and learning to trust your body again.

Ditching the Diet Mentality

The first and most crucial step is to abandon the diet mentality. Restrictive diets, which often involve cutting out entire food groups or severely limiting calories, are a primary driver of an unhealthy relationship with food. They create a cycle where deprivation leads to intense cravings, which can result in overeating or bingeing, followed by feelings of guilt and failure. This isn't a lack of willpower; it's a biological response. When your body is under-nourished, it enters an "emergency mode," screaming for energy until you listen, which can feel like a loss of control.

Instead of dieting, adopt an "all foods fit" philosophy. This approach removes the moral labels of "good" and "bad" from food. When we label food, we internalise those judgments; eating "bad" food makes us feel like we are bad. By neutralising food, we can reduce anxiety and guilt, allowing us to focus on balance rather than perfection. This doesn't mean eating cake all day, but it does mean you can enjoy a slice of your favourite dessert without it derailing your entire week. The goal is to build sustainable, long-term habits that nourish your body and bring you joy, which can include traditional family recipes and comfort foods in a balanced way.

The Power of Mindful and Structured Eating

Once you’ve decided to move past dieting, the next step is to change how you eat. This involves two key practices: mindful eating and structured eating.

Practising Mindful Eating

Mindful eating is the cornerstone of fixing a troubled relationship with food. It means being fully present and engaged in the experience of eating, free from distractions like your phone, TV, or work emails. When you eat mindfully, you slow down and pay attention to the tastes, textures, and smells of your food. This practice helps you reconnect with your body’s natural hunger and fullness signals, making it easier to know when to start and stop eating. Studies show that mindfulness-based interventions can lead to weight loss, reduce binge eating, and help manage emotional eating by changing your eating behaviours and reducing stress.

While you eat, try asking yourself questions with curiosity, not judgment:

• Am I eating this because I truly want it, or just because it's here?

• Does this food satisfy the craving I'm having?

• How does this food make my body feel? Energised, sluggish, or content?

• Am I actually hungry, or am I eating due to boredom, stress, or sadness?

• 
  

Jotting down your thoughts in a food-mood diary can help you identify patterns and the reasons behind your food choices.

Creating a Structured Eating Plan

While it may sound contradictory to ditching rigid rules, establishing a gentle structure can be incredibly freeing. A structured eating plan involves having regular meals at regular times—for example, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and one or two snacks. This regularity helps regulate your appetite hormones, ghrelin (which signals hunger) and leptin (which signals fullness). When these hormones are stable, you're less likely to experience extreme hunger that can lead to overeating.

Research confirms that meal regularity—both in timing and calorie consistency—is significantly associated with weight loss. Think of this structure not as a set of unbreakable rules, but as a reliable foundation or a "safe space" for your eating habits. It provides consistency that allows you to better listen to your body, while still offering the flexibility to deviate for a special occasion before returning to your comfortable routine.

Honouring Your Body's Signals

Our bodies are equipped with sophisticated systems for telling us what they need, but diet culture often teaches us to ignore them. Healing your relationship with food involves learning to listen to and honour these signals again.

Tuning into Hunger and Fullness

Learn to recognise the difference between true, physical hunger (a stomach pang, low energy) and other eating triggers. These can include "eye hunger" from seeing delicious food, "nose hunger" from smelling it, or "emotional hunger" from feeling stressed or sad. Eating when you are genuinely hungry and stopping when you are comfortably satisfied—not stuffed—is a fundamental skill for both weight management and a healthy food relationship. Don't skip meals, as becoming overly hungry makes you more likely to overeat and choose foods high in sugar and fat.

Addressing Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is using food as a coping mechanism for feelings rather than as a source of nourishment. Many people eat to soothe stress, anxiety, or boredom, which provides short-term comfort but often leads to guilt later. The first step is to recognise when you're doing it. Once you've identified the trigger, you can find alternative strategies to manage your emotions. Instead of reaching for a snack, try going for a walk, meditating, journaling, or calling a friend. Developing these non-food coping mechanisms puts you back in control.

Mindset Shift: From Unhealthy to Healthy

Characteristic	Unhealthy Relationship with Food	Healthy Relationship with Food
Mindset	Restrictive, all-or-nothing thinking ("I was bad today")	Flexible, balanced, and self-compassionate ("Progress, not perfection")
View of Food	Foods are labelled "good" or "bad," leading to guilt and anxiety.	All foods can fit; food is seen as nourishment, pleasure, and connection.
Eating Cues	Eating is driven by emotions, stress, or rigid rules	Eating is guided by internal hunger and fullness cues
Emotional Response	Feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety around eating	Food is enjoyed without guilt; eating is a satisfying and positive experience

Healing your relationship with food while losing weight is not only possible but is often the key to achieving sustainable, long-term success. It's a journey that requires shifting your focus from restriction and guilt to mindfulness, nourishment, and self-compassion. By ditching the diet mentality, practising mindful and structured eating, and learning to honour your body's innate wisdom, you can build a foundation of trust with yourself. Food can become what it's meant to be: a source of energy, health, pleasure, and connection, rather than a source of stress. This path allows you to achieve your health goals, including weight loss, while fostering a sense of peace and body acceptance.

Back